it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
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