Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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