I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
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