Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
