It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
