Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Michael Bay diarrhea
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Randomize
