I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
