I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
40s are totally the cure
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
