How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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