fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
