That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
Randomize
