Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
Randomize
