I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I love you. Go after that dick
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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