Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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