Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
