But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Randomize
