why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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