I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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