On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
