Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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