How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Randomize
