FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
