a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
