I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
