So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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