Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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