So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize
