also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
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