Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
