the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
