Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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