so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
