We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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