Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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