It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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