They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Randomize
