He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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