uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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