so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Randomize
