I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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