grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Randomize
