Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
