Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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