But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
