He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
