We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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