went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Randomize
