He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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