Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Randomize
