im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
